Why set European standards of beauty on African Women?

If there is something that bothers me and irritates me, it’s the standards of beauty that we have set on our beautiful African women. And to be sincere I think it hurts our ego and self esteem.

The other day I was chatting with my friends and then one of them asked me ,why haven’t you made your hair?…..well that question made all of us argue….actually I had made my hair…only that I hadn’t put on a wig or weave and I hadn’t braided it either….I was wearing my natural African hair. And when I say natural African hair…I mean hair that hasn’t been straightened up…hair that has just been washed, oiled and combed neatly. I like the fact that my hair is not silky straight, actually I rarely straighten it. And going by the European standards of beauty, my hair, or any other Africans girl hair ought to be silky, straightened up, wiged, weaved, braided and long enough to touch ones shoulder. The funny and good thing is that the only time my hair ever touched my shoulder was when I was in high school, and after cutting it off it never grew past my ears. So my friends after arguing concluded that I hadn’t made my hair….and that my hair was neat but not done…confusing huh?. You can imagine the words I got from them after dissing on their weaves and wigs…calling them fake hair. Well we obviously had to stop talking about beauty and hair after smelling a cat fight or world war4.

Even when we were arguing I kept on thinking ‘I wish they knew how long it took me just to wash my hair, wait for it to dry, comb it and style it the way I had.

And that’s why I was asking myself….why set European standards of beauty on African women?? Why can’t an African woman wear her kinky hair and not be asked questions like ‘why isn’t your hair made?’

Why can’t we let an African woman be comfortable in her skin? Grouping women in groups of dark skin and light skin as we call them. Totally showing that the African woman has sinned by having a dark skin. Haven’t you seen how most of them are going through a hard process of trying to lighten their skin just to fit-in in the European standards of beauty? Anyway, just remember it’s just as insulting to call someone ugly because they have light skin as it is to call someone ugly for having dark skin

Why can’t we let our African woman embrace her figure 8 shape and embrace it too by not calling her fat? You can imagine what many women go through after being called ‘fat’. Why act like being fat is worse than contracting AIDS or any other disease…..like cholera…huh?

Have you ever seen an African woman preparing for her wedding?? Some of them who have been called fat before, start dieting decades before their wedding….and then order or get their wedding gown designed after they achieve the weight and size that they have been told is perfect. Imagine having a waist of 38 and having to slim it down to 28?…..or a tummy that is not flat and having to flatten it up? I always tell people, eat healthy and exercise….don’t eat less, don’t eat much….don’t exercise too much and don’t be too lazy to not exercise…..wait, I am already setting a standard right?

Anyway, why can’t we have our own African standards of beauty? And who even sets these European standards on us, is it us or our African men? And, if it is our African men, well, they are free to go date those European women. Because ain’t no African woman with a high self esteem got time to live by standards she ain’t set for herself.

To the African woman out there…..embrace your skin, hair and anything African you’ve got….flaunt it!! But it’s still cool if you have decided on your own decision and rightful mind to lighten your skin, straighten your hair and go on diet just to slim. As long as no one is forcing you its ok but don’t do it if it’s someone who said you are too dark, or your hair is too curled and kinky, or your hair is too short. Do what you want anyway; it’s your body….right?

Life is too short to let people set living standards for you leave alone beauty standards!

don’t tell her she is pretty for a dark-skinned girl,dark skin is not a badge of shame;but rather a glorious masterpiece, created by God Himself.

a day with the Nairobi street kids

                                                             On 7^th February 2015, my friends and I went to feed street kids. They had been communicated to, and were all told to come to central park at 2pm. So we arrived there and surprisingly they had been there for hours waiting for us. We had all brought with us bread and milk……before giving them the bread and milk; we played games with them, prayed and sang. We then grouped them in groups of ten because they were so many (around 150), the reason for this was to bond with the kids and listen to their stories of how they ended up in the streets. Some of the stories were sad to listen to. Some kids had run away from their homes and others had joined the street life out of peer pressure. Most of them said they would really want to go back to their homes, others did not want to go back home because they felt like the street life is better than home. Some want to go to school so much because they know education is important.

I noticed that it’s only the boys that had showed up, so I asked them why the girls had not showed up. And the reasons I got was that the girls are afraid of ‘good people’ because they do bad things to them. And yes, they do call us good people…….and that’s sad; the reason for this is because society has labeled all the street kids as the bad people. I kept on wishing the street girls had showed up, but I was told it’s even hard to see them.

So in the groups that we sat, I talked to round 5 boys….and here are their short stories……

This little boy is Edu……he came to the streets last year November….that is 2014. I noticed him because he was one of the youngest among all the kids that had showed up. He was singing those kindergarten songs that kids sing and he was also so proud when he was saying the Lord ’s Prayer. So when I asked him why he was in the streets, he gave me a very childish story………which was so hard to believe. He said that his mother had gone to work to Saudi Arabia and he was left with his grandmother, and he loved his mother so much that he’d rather stay in the streets than stay with someone else if not his mum. He said he misses school and would want to go back. I noticed that the old boys were against him staying in the streets and they also told me that they didn’t want him to use any of the drugs that they always use, because they know its harmful to him.

kevin….the one in yellow

This kid is Kevin. He was so rough and even said he loves staying in the streets and the last thing he would want was to stay in a home. He said that he hated schools too. He said loves staying in the streets because at home his mother used to beat him up so badly. He said that the reason he ran away from home and came to the streets was because his mum used a hot panga and burned his buttocks. We asked if we could see the scar but he said he cannot take off his pants for us……the other street kids said that this was a lie that he tells people because no one has ever seen his scar!

This one was kevo or Kevin too….he seemed very rough at first….actually he was rough, the way he played around with others was scary. I was even afraid to ask him anything, and when I did, he refused to tell me anything…..then later when we gave them their bread and milk. He told me that he used to stay with his mum at some place called Sinai. He told me Sinai was a slum and one day the whole slum burned and nothing remained. So his mum put him in a children’s home because she couldn’t take care of him anymore. While at the children’s home, he would go to school and he was even better off there. But one day when he and the other kids came back from school they found that the home had been demolished so they ended up in the streets. He told me he would be in class7 this year, and he would really want to go back to school someday. He still carries his school bag everywhere he goes.

This kid to be sincere, I can’t remember his name. But he had a very interesting story. He came to the streets because of peer pressure. He told me that he is from Kisumu and he was even in a private school there. He told me his mother is well off….well at least she can afford a private school and that his other siblings are in high school…and he is the only one in the streets. He said that when he was in kisumu, his friends told him that they were going to Nairobi because they had heard that life there was so awesome, but he didn’t manage to travel with them because he dint have any money with him.  When his friends returned from Nairobi, they kept on telling him how they had fun there. So they told him to get money and travel with them in the next trip. So he stole 1000bob from his mother and used it to travel to Nairobi. But when he was in the bus to Nairobi, he kept on feeling like he had done something bad. He even wanted to get off the bus and go back home but his friends insisted that he should stay. He told me that when he got to Nairobi he realized that life was too hard for him and he went back to kisumu. His family was so happy to see him….but a few days later, his friends came for him and he has never gone back home. He hates the street life and misses school and his family.

This kid, they call him ‘chali msichana’….hehe because he looks like a girl, has soft hair and he puts on skinny jeans. They just think he looks like a girl. He dint want to tell me anything after he heard me say that I know loiktoktok, the place he comes from. He is just afraid of going back to his home. Everything he told me, I was told by the other kids that it was lie ….he told me he was from the luo tribe and he had run away from kisumu. But the other kids told me that he was a maasai and he had come from loiktoktok. He had come with two other boys, who were his friends.

when the time came for us to go home,they all dressed up in clean clothes because if they showed up in the CBD with dirty clothes they would be caught by the city council police and be taken back home…….that’s their greatest fear….well,that’s what they said. plus some of us had brought clothes for them and they were excited to put on something new.

Anyway, I pray that these kids get a better life than the one they have…..because most of them have talents but they have no one to advice them or help  nurture them. I pray that they get a chance to get the education that they want so much and shelter.

let brotherly love continue. Hebrews 13:1

and do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased. Hebrews 13:16

valentine’s day special

February 14^th, also known as Valentine’s Day is a day that lovers express their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards known as valentines.

So this year it happens that the day is on a Saturday which is actually a good thing since it’s gonna be a holiday for sure.  The day is all about expressing love, we should always express love everyday in our daily lives whether it’s to family or someone else. For most women, this day is a big deal, so whatever you have planned, just make it memorable. It doesn’t have to be a big thing that you do, but making her feel special is essential. This is also a good day for the ladies to treat their men in a special way. This day should be an example of how we should always treat each other every day

And since this day is a day to express our love, on February 14^th 2015, we are going to visit a children’s home. This is to show love to the children there…and by ‘we’ I mean you and me…that they are loved. We all know the situation in a children’s home. These are kids abandoned, for one reason or the other, by their parents. The only people they have left to take care of them are the owners of these children’s home. So it’s important that we visit them and remind them that they are special and even though they will never grow up with their blood relatives, they can have family love from each other and from caring and philanthropic members of the public like us.

I usually prefer to view Valentine’s Day as a day to appreciate the ones who stand by me whenever I need them. Family members are usually the first I think of, coz they will take care of you without expecting a single thing in return. Sometimes, we give too much priority to our spouses on Valentine’s Day probably because we overlook the meaning of love. If only our romance crazed world would stop for a while and show such attention to family members as well as spouses on that special day of love. More so, if you really love someone, you would not wait an entire year to show them love on just one day, Valentine’s Day. You would treat them specially every single day you spend with them.

Children in children’s home should therefore know that they are each other’s family and that they have people out there devoted to making their lives better, one care at a time. All you have to do to help us show these kids that they are loved and cared for is join us on the 14^th day of February 2015 on our visit to joy divine children’s home. Come with whatever you can get to donate for them to make your love a little tangible. Whatever you come with, remember it’s the thought that counts.

Let’s remember that showing affection and care to kids who mostly feel neglected would change their attitude towards life completely. It would encourage and motivate these kids to never give up on their dreams because they are just as important as anyone. So don’t miss out on doing a good deed for once in your life and join us as we remind these orphaned children that they matter.

everyone is invited to show some love!!

For anyone wishing to join us on Valentine’s Day as we visit joy divine children’s home

Email me for more information raquelshiro26@gmail.com

Or  call 0704325790 / 0719113118

@heartfortheneedy

Fb: heart for the needy

here are a few photos of what happened the last time we showed some love

the kids and us……

some selfie love……

a bouncing castle for all…….

BEAUTY, BRAINS AND BRAWN: WOMEN AND THE BEAUTIFUL GAME

zizouspirouette

PART I: A Timeline of the Game

Love so deep and genuine

The notion or assumption that women’s football is novel is false. Women have been playing soccer since the game existed. Women played the earliest version of the game Tsu Chu. Women in ancient Greece, ancient Romans and China were playing football at very high levels 1000s of years ago. There is even a record in Chinese history of a 17 year old girl defeating the Chinese army.

Not a new game.

The earliest recorded women’s game was around 1795 in Musselburgh, Scotland. In the early years of the 20th Century the women’s game was very successful with Dick, Kerr and Co. Ltd ladies dominating English football and is widely regarded as the most successful team even today. Oddly, the successes of the DK women’s team led to a ban on women’s football by the Football Association (FA) that…

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fake or real

It always starts with a simple “hello” and the next thing you know, you’re obsessed with everything a person does. I never thought it would be like this for me. I always considered myself too hard to please. Until I met Sam. The guy I wanted to be with forever. At that point, forever was not enough. I wanted to be with him every second of my life. But, that was impossible. We had met online, so he wasn’t from around my town. We were going to do a long-distance thing until we figured out how to cover the distance.

So we texted each other every day, from morning to evening. I could hardly keep off my phone. Every time it vibrated, I knew it was a message from Sam. This went on for a month until we first met in person. He was as charming as I’d imagined him to be, and from the look on his face, he must have been pleased to meet me as well. So we had a smooth relationship for about four months.

The problem started when I felt he wasn’t committed enough. We had countable dates and he was now texting me on a weekly basis instead of a day to day basis. I knew something was off. I tried bringing up my worries in our now rare conversations. He however got very defensive and could not take responsibility of his mistake to not make the relationship a priority. So eventually, my decision was to leave him and find myself a more committed man. Despite loving him, I convinced myself that I deserve better.

But, does better really exist? Is there really a more committed guy just waiting to walk into my life any time now? Because if there was, don’t you think I would have found him by now?

Everyone seems to have the same sad ending to their quest for love. It didn’t work because he/she cheated, or, because the perfect relationship turned out to be too good to be true and one of the spouses turned to be a serial killer on the run who needed to cover his identity by living a normal life, which apparently involved being in a relationship. It doesn’t always work out. Maybe she wants kids and he doesn’t or vice versa, or the love simply faded.

Even if the relationship ends in marriage and there seems to be a “happy ever after”, the couple may end up unhappy and bored because their life seems to be a routine. Every morning, waking up to the same person, shower, breakfast, work, dinner, sleep, then wake up and do it all again. This is where adultery comes in, to bring in excitement in the cheater’s life. They simply can’t bear their boring life anymore. The wife/husband finds out that their partner is cheating, and with a broken heart, file for a divorce. And there it is another sad ending.

The ones that remain faithful to their spouses live an unhappy life. they stay in their marriages just to ensure their children don’t go through the trauma of having divorced parents.

So here I am, in a world where I believe true love doesn’t truly exist. With the clock ticking for the “right time” to get married not to mention my humane need to love and be loved. I wonder how long it’s going take me to find my prince charming. Someone mentioned to me that being beautiful and having a nice body doesn’t entitle me to find true love. I still have to wait in despair just like everyone else.

I still get hope from couples like my parents, the married ones who stay faithful to their spouses and are happy. My grandparents for example only have each other as company. Their children moved out a long time ago. All the years they have stayed married show me that one day I will find a good husband who will stay faithful and give me the love and companionship that I need.

I have decided to just live my life and be happy. Instead of waiting around for some dream guy to come along, I will pursue my dreams and have as much fun as I can before I’m old and all I can remember from my youth is feeling lonely and locking myself indoors. So not all hope is lost. Somehow, I can change a fairy tale to not be about happily married, but happily in love with myself. After all, that’s what life’s about, being comfortable in your own skin and person.

Ephesians 5:25

husbands, love your wives, even as christ loved the church, and gave himself for it;

music camp at The Crin Music Mentorship

Crin Music Mentorship is an organization that offers music opportunities to all the people that are interested in music.
Crin Music Mentorship is now offering music mentorship programs for children aged between 6 years old to 17 years old. The mentorship programme starts from 11th August to 16th August., from 8am to 4pm.This will be their fifth music camp, the attendance on average sees more than 40 kids per camp.
The camp takes place in a good and healthy environment. There are enough instruments and learning materials, food is also served to the children.
most of the music teachers at crin mentorship school are volunteers
The children are given a chance to learn on any two music instruments they want to, that is instruments like the guitar, piano, sax, drum, trumpet, violin and music theory including vocals.
Some of the kids that have been mentored by the Crin music mentorship school have participated in different music festivals like the Kenya national music festivals, playing instruments in different categories and all have emerged as first place winners.
A good example is Ian Mwasia a 12 year old who was interviewed on k24 as being the best kid guitarist, Tim,on the picture below was on Churchill live two weeks ago.

from left to right, Ian, Nixon, Tephila and Emmanuel

Would you like to be part of the mentorship programme you can bring kids to be mentored and you can also be a mentor….. you can mentor the kids on instruments that you are good at…….its all about giving back to the society….
No education is complete without music…volunteer, mentor or tutor any of the children at the Crin Music Mentorship camp.

 

                            

the camp will be held at Savanah school Embakasi…..

call 0712437291 for any enquiries

or visit their facebook page Crin Music Mentorship

and twitter @Crinemusic

twitter and bae vs you

I know you are wondering how twitter,bae and you are in one sentence, but for twitter addicts, or just people who kinda love twitter, this is just but a normal sentence.
So its Saturday night, you are just in your room probably eating (well that’s what I spend most of my precious time doing)……and then your bae calls you over for a sleepover. And you prolly feel like a queen…..the queen of all queens…..i mean spending the whole weekend with bae is awesome,ryt? So you take a cold bath quickly, dress up nicely and off you go to visit bae……on your way you buy him his favorite cake……ok its not like his favorite,favorite,you don’t even know whether he likes it but you always buy him such every time you go visiting him…
You get bae still in his jersey, yea the one he puts on when he is watching his football team play….he smells awful since he hasn’t showered the whole day, but you still afford to give him a kiss….i mean he is bae…he gets a kiss even if he got poop on his lips, right?……so you make him shower…cold shower…and getting bae to shower means you get to shower too. So both of you are clean now, you talk about how you spent your day and then cook together………bae is actually good at cooking and you like that.
You serve him the food and as both of you are eating; he picks up his phone and starts texting…he texts continuously during the whole eating session and you can’t help but wonder who or what he is texting to…..you even start wondering if he is cheating on you…or if he is flirting with some other girl…or maybe he is just replying to those safaricom texts they always send you when they are bored. You control yourself and you don’t even ask him who he is texting…you don’t even know how to start the sentence….’who are you texting?’ or ‘what are you doing?’…or ‘is your phone OK?’…
Hmmmm…its now sleep time…your favorite thing after eating is sleeping……not alone obviously, but with bae……as you are both headed to bed, you remember that your phone is still in your handbag…so you get it to check if maybe bae was texting you all that time and you dint reply because your phone was in your handbag and you were just there with him……but it has not even one text.
In bed, bae is still with his phone, texting and laughing…..you just lay there thinking of how his new girl is good for him, I mean she makes him laugh and forget completely about you….just through a text!!…and yet your funny looking face won’t even make him look at you. You start hating on yourself wondering why you even came to his place, wishing you just stayed home. You feel like grabbing his phone and throwing it away in some other planet called hell…..you just hate everything he is doing, even when he looks at you you feel like punching his face with a knife…..well if that is easy to do!
Bae turns around and looks at you and his face looks like he has just realized you have been there all this time……and you think he is about to put his phone down,but he doesn’t…he continues texting and smiling…..so you get jealous and this time you really wanna know who he is texting. So you act like you are actually going to caress him and as you are touching him slowly, you take a look at his phone…..and finally you get to see who the bitch he is texting is……it is not a bitch you can beat up and kill…..it’s a bitch you can’t even confront for a fight…..a bitch that is strong enough to steal your bae and you never get him back. A real and strong bitch, TWITTER!!
Twitter???…you just lay back wondering how he chooses twitter over you….i mean you know you are not funny, but you wonder what’s really good about this twitter thing that makes him not even want to look at you. So you login into your own twitter account and start stalking on his twitter, and you both lay down there…tweeting and smiling…without even having to look at each other ……..
Twitter and bae vs you……if you can’t beat em, join em!!

 

dear Jay,Is love for the birds?

My friends used to tell me that love was for the birds…

they still tell me so and I don’t even know whether I do believe them or not…..
I don’t even know what to believe when it comes to love
Is love for the birds or not?
But I kinda found out that love is for the birds…like for real!!
So I decided that I was a bird too
When a nice guy, Jay.

told me that he loved me….
and I did believe it…
I mean when you are a bird
and love finds you….
You can’t say no …or can you?
I wanted to feel how the birds felt…..
How it felt to be a bird….
A bird with love and in love
And it sure did feel good
I was not only a bird but an eagle
I soared higher than the eagle I think
Love lifted me
That love that they say can move mountains
Mine moved the whole world
It made my world go round
Not even a mountain could stop it
Not even a mountain could stop us
We were two eagles
Soaring
Moving mountains
But one day
When our love was revolving the world
When our love was moving mountains
When the stars and the moon
Seemed more brighter than the sun
Our love was attacked by a serpent
The serpent took away my Jay
The only jay that had showed me love
The jay that had made me believe that I was a bird
The jay that had made my love move mountains
The jay that had made my love revolve the world
My whole world crumbled
Oh no I crumbled first
Then came my world
I wish you would have seen
How the two birds crumbled on the ground
How the two eagles hit the ground
Hard
Harder than lightening
And the world that the two had moved
Did not even tremble
When they hit it
It did not even move an inch

 

The stars and the moon became darker than the night
Nights and days had no difference
Closing and opening my eyes was just the same
Everything was dark
I was dark
I was darkness
Oh how the serpent had spoiled my life I thought
Only to find out that
My jay
was not taken
he was not stolen
He had
Gone to the serpent by himself
begged the serpent to be with him
worst of it all
he told me this to my face
what was worse than that?
It was more painful than chewing a cactus
I think
the serpent, him and I
Three is a crowd, dear serpent!
But dear Jay
Did you have to teach me in such a painful way
That love is for the birds?

is love for the birds?